Brainwashing...

You know I've always been interested in society. Guess it's the main reason why I took up sociology and psychology. Wanted to learn more about people and why they are the way they are. What causes em to act a certain way. Well, after about 2years of such education I've found that groups of people (society) play a big part in a person's life (upbringing as well). We are the way we are because someone influenced us in some way to act that way. It may be conscious or sub-conscious. Influence can have a great effect or a very little one (but may increase with constant influence).

One interesting point I studied was gender roles. Take for example someone who's grown up in a family totally made up of the opposite sex. Lets say a boy is brought up by a group of women (girls included), he will grow up to act just like them. Vice versa for girls in a family totally made up of boys and men. It's not something that's certain 100% but you get what I mean right? Our whole lives... we've been brainwashed into literally almost everything related to social relations. I am the way I am because society made me this way. Even your sexual orientation can be influenced by others.

What makes a man like this


Over this?


I can think of many other things like... the perception of beauty. In the more developing countries, thin is beautiful. In less developing countries especially ones that go through poverty, being thin is the last thing anyone wants to be. Coz it signifies malnutrition and sickness. So all the women (especially those who wanna get married) try to get as fat as possible. Coz that's whats beautiful there.

You see how much impact a society can have on a person? It starts with family, moves on to friends, then society at large... heck, the random person on the street can have an influence on you. It's just that you don't realize it @_@

Anyways, I know my friends have had a HUGE influence on me in the past few years =P Appearance wise, i've changed a heck lots since I left secondary school and I'm in to a lot of different things now thanks to them lols! For the good and for the worst I guess XP

What a valentines day.... not to remember....

I dunno why we put up with made up days created by corporations to brain wash us into spending more money than we should on things just for the sake of showing how we feel towards those that we love through material gifts. I mean how is V day any different from any other day? Take away the up priced presents and the idea that we're forced to buy a rose or some chocs for that special someone and its just like every other stinking day. If you're wondering why I'm poking at it so much then I'll tell you why. Yeah I was unhappy on that stupid day of yours. No i didn't stay in despite waking up later than usual, I did go out but instead of going out and seeing that particular someone with a group of friends I was forced to go out with my housemate and was subjected to 7whole hours of COD4 just to bury the memory that the person got called off for something and couldn't go for an outing.

Don't even mention the thought that I now realize more than ever that I'm single and have been for the past 4 months or so... what hurts even more is that I've begun to realize is that I'm the type of guy who's just owh so perfect as the third wheel. The one that seems okay and all, reasonably attractive but never gets the girl. I'm the one that always gets to be the third wheel when a pair of my good friends who're together wanna go out and they need a ride. There's nothing wrong with it, its just that some of the time it gets really hard not to notice the intamacy between the two that you so long to have (have again?) and seeing it up close.

Call me emo, call me jealous, call me irrational and a blind fool. A blog is a blog and this is the only place i'll be able to write out my raw thoughts and emotions without having to feel guilty about it or to hide it. Yes I'm an attention seeker it's true, sue me... I like attracting attention even if it is the bad kind coz I can't survive being alone and quiet without human interaction. GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck the world and it's complexities. Its injustices, imperfections, expectations, and all that....

I miss Y.... we all make mistakes right? We both did... both overreacted... ha ha... maybe I have regrets over what happened... but even if she would take me back I couldn't bring myself to let her. I'm too erratic... too emotional... naive too in my own ways. I'm so out of it that I don't even know what I'm writing about in the first place =D ah yes V day... I just wanna be held again... to feel that sense of security, that illusion that when that person takes hold of me, I am theirs and theirs alone... safe from all that may do me harm...

*Sniffle* Anyways, Happy Valentines people. Congrats to those who've finally gathered the courage to get together with their significant other and all the best to those who've already long been together. I pray for your happiness. As for me... I guess maybe the deities of fate have me on their leash. At least i'll still have cosplay partners right? Sigh...

Reno's holidays over yet again~

Gosh, the 9 days i got off of college have come and gone like a flash and... I didn't do much to show for it *squints* Well... lets recap... There was that LAN party I attended at Asia Cafe's FTZ along with Dei dei and Connman. Haha good times playing Left 4 Dead and COD 5 (I owned in COD5 but the opposition made me their bitch while playing L4D... I'm always the goodie two shoes who helps my friend but they leave me for the friggin zombies!!!!)

Hurm.... Come CNY day, I slept in till about 3 in the afternoon -_- yeah yeah I ain't proud of myself either and I missed the eclipse that happened thanks to the friggin cloud in Subang area.... thankfully Dei dei was free that day and he and his brother were planning to go to the movies (I tagged along and drove us over to 1U to watch InkHeart).

It was pretty lonely in the apartment during this entire week without my housemates. I felt miserable some days to the point of being Emo... Going back to my grandma's home didn't help either... despite having familiar faces around I felt horrible and even anime's that seemed comedic to friends were intrepretted as sad and sorrowful to me.

The week picked up bit by bit. Went to have some shisha with a handful of Comic Fiesta forumers and danced in the arcade on the machines. Celebrated a friend's birthday and caught up with the school mates I knew so well in the past (it was great seeing them again after so long). Cappy and Itomaki even dropped by to join me in a short anime marathon in my room (bet your brains are fried now after watching that one episode of Macademi Wasshoi huh girls? LOVE AND PEACEEEE!!!!)

Yeah... most of the other days were spent in bed, sleeping, surfing on9, watching funny vids like Achmed the Terrorist and FaceBooking... not a lot... well I did find a 100ringgit bill the other day which made me jump for joy and I finished one of my college projects which is due after the holidays so all in all it can't be as bad as some other people's CNY week right? Can it....?