What a valentines day.... not to remember....

I dunno why we put up with made up days created by corporations to brain wash us into spending more money than we should on things just for the sake of showing how we feel towards those that we love through material gifts. I mean how is V day any different from any other day? Take away the up priced presents and the idea that we're forced to buy a rose or some chocs for that special someone and its just like every other stinking day. If you're wondering why I'm poking at it so much then I'll tell you why. Yeah I was unhappy on that stupid day of yours. No i didn't stay in despite waking up later than usual, I did go out but instead of going out and seeing that particular someone with a group of friends I was forced to go out with my housemate and was subjected to 7whole hours of COD4 just to bury the memory that the person got called off for something and couldn't go for an outing.

Don't even mention the thought that I now realize more than ever that I'm single and have been for the past 4 months or so... what hurts even more is that I've begun to realize is that I'm the type of guy who's just owh so perfect as the third wheel. The one that seems okay and all, reasonably attractive but never gets the girl. I'm the one that always gets to be the third wheel when a pair of my good friends who're together wanna go out and they need a ride. There's nothing wrong with it, its just that some of the time it gets really hard not to notice the intamacy between the two that you so long to have (have again?) and seeing it up close.

Call me emo, call me jealous, call me irrational and a blind fool. A blog is a blog and this is the only place i'll be able to write out my raw thoughts and emotions without having to feel guilty about it or to hide it. Yes I'm an attention seeker it's true, sue me... I like attracting attention even if it is the bad kind coz I can't survive being alone and quiet without human interaction. GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck the world and it's complexities. Its injustices, imperfections, expectations, and all that....

I miss Y.... we all make mistakes right? We both did... both overreacted... ha ha... maybe I have regrets over what happened... but even if she would take me back I couldn't bring myself to let her. I'm too erratic... too emotional... naive too in my own ways. I'm so out of it that I don't even know what I'm writing about in the first place =D ah yes V day... I just wanna be held again... to feel that sense of security, that illusion that when that person takes hold of me, I am theirs and theirs alone... safe from all that may do me harm...

*Sniffle* Anyways, Happy Valentines people. Congrats to those who've finally gathered the courage to get together with their significant other and all the best to those who've already long been together. I pray for your happiness. As for me... I guess maybe the deities of fate have me on their leash. At least i'll still have cosplay partners right? Sigh...