Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Just to pour my head out so I don't lose my mind

Hey there, I know it has been awhile. To be honest before this I couldn't be bothered. So much to see, so much to do. Since my arrival here in York I have experienced much to say the least. New faces, new places... a new life far... far away from home.

Everyone misses me... or so i'd like to think so. Truthfully, there isn't anywhere else in the world i'd rather be right now than back home. Home... despite how much our world has gotten 'smaller' to me it feels owh so far away. Thank god for Facebook and the internet ;) at least I can drown away a bit of the sorrow I feel from being home sick.

University life is quite different from how it was in college. I think I enjoyed my time in Taylors more. Simply coz I had all I could ever want and life felt easy. I'd see friends that I know and love, we'd attend class (despite whining about early 9.15's and so on...) we'd have lunch and bitch about the assignments we'd got for the week and occasionally go out for dinner and party later on. I guess... maybe i'm just not used to change. The people here are nice but closed up.

To my knowledge I can only say that there is only one local student that I talk to and socialize with on occasion. Everyone else that I know now is international one way or another. My first group of friends whom I was close to was stripped away from me after first term. They were visiting students but since they were the only ones I felt comfortable with during fresher week, I stuck to them (too much so now that I think about it).

I'm not sure what i'm writing now so do forgive me if I blabber on. Hoping to end with something constructive at the end. I guess what I want to do is just rant about how miserable I feel being here. The weather was horrible, I never knew that cold could fuck with me so much so that'd affect me not only physically but psychologically as well... I had S.A.D's for quite some time during winter, Shops close at fucking 5p.m... I MEAN COME ON right? AND YOU CLOSE ON SUNDAYS?!?!?! WTF is up with that shit?

How I long for the Mamaks that serve glorious unhealthy yet cheap food 24/7!!!! First thing I'm doing when I get back home is eat my heart out :D MAKAN PUAS PUAS!!! WOOOT!!!

Plus with my mood always in a swing in the earlier terms I couldn't concentrate on my studies. Fucked up my essays in a result which I have to resubmit soon. Hopeful I don't screw up my first year... sigh...
Me and Meg broke up recently too. Can't say I'm not hurting inside coz I'd be lying if I said everything is fine and dandy. I am however taking this more calmly than I expected... still wonder what it would've been like if things were different. Haha, guess there's no point in doing so since things would've probably ended sooner or later with the current situation. At least I still have the memories we shared. Those will last for a lifetime.

On a more constructive note, i've sort of gotten used to living here. I know where to get most things although there are some things lacking (an arcade namely). I have found friends since first term who I feel have come to recognize me and accept me as their friend. Some more closer than others but I guess its a start to something good. I realize life can fuck with you more than you would like MORE than you would like at ONE time. All you gotta do is just take it and move on from there. Long distant relationships can only work under very certain circumstances and differs from person to person, I will never make the same decision again.

owh my... that's a lot of blocks of random stuff there...

Sorry for that, but if you read everything, cheers to you. Hope you didn't waste yer time.


anne mieko. said...

awwww. you'll be home soon :)
we all are waiting for you cuz everyone here misses you!

Rayray said...

*glomp hug*

we all miss u here buddy~
so we will be waiting for you to come back and make a big hugsssssss~~XDXD
so cheer up and ganbate over there~XD

QuirkyLilPrincess said...

i miss u senpai.well,things can get fucked up but honestly,that's just life :) you'll bounce back,that's you :) *hugs*

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